how to control your anger

Soccer Parents: Why They Rage

Jay Goldstein’s tips for not becoming one of those parents

When you feel your anger rising at something you see on the field:

* Controlled deep breathing exercises (inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds)
* Suck on a lollipop (Occupies your mouth and reminds you that you’re there for your child.)
* Visualize a relaxing experience like floating on water.
* Repeat a calm word or phrase.
* Do yoga-like muscle stretches.
* Replace angry thoughts with rational ones, such as “This is my child’s game, not mine,” or “Mistakes are opportunities to learn.”
* Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head. Count to 10 and think about possible responses.
* If you did not see the game, first ask your child “How did you play?” rather than “Did you win?”
* Praise your child’s effort, then, maybe, comment on the results.
* Use humor, but avoid harsh or sarcastic humor. Picture the referee wearing Elton John glasses.