Thursday, April 20, 2006

no babies please



joestump.net
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User



Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

Promo by deathmatch

If you want that job, deathmatch now. Best out of 5 rounds in tekken.

Managing the Gamer Generation : HBS Working Knowledge
They are different from you and me, this generation born after 1970. They grew up with a finger on the keyboard and an ear to the cell phone, and in a world where the forces of globalization have broken down national barriers like no time in history.

And right now this group is moving up in the business ranks, becoming managers, partners, and eventually CEOs. Chances are you manage employees from this generation, and it's not far-fetched to believe you may yourself be managed by them before you check out of your career.

Managing the Gamer Generation : HBS Working Knowledge
They are different from you and me, this generation born after 1970. They grew up with a finger on the keyboard and an ear to the cell phone, and in a world where the forces of globalization have broken down national barriers like no time in history.

And right now this group is moving up in the business ranks, becoming managers, partners, and eventually CEOs. Chances are you manage employees from this generation, and it's not far-fetched to believe you may yourself be managed by them before you check out of your career.

feed my tomagotchi



Tamagotchis seek second wave of virtual pet owners - Yahoo! News
TOKYO (Reuters) - With straps loaded with tamagotchis around their necks, siblings Takumi and Ayaka Mochizuki traveled an hour to a Tokyo store so their virtual pets could interact with a giant tamagotchi that was on tour.
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"I love feeding my tamagotchi," said Takumi, 5, looking disappointed because he didn't have enough virtual money to buy anything for his "3-year-old" pet at the royal market, which is accessible only via the giant tamagotchi.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Spa day for mago



Turkish "doctor fish" nibble at Japanese market - Yahoo! News
In a beauty treatment imported from Turkey, bathers at "Dr Fish", a new spa in the hot spring resort of Hakone, dip their feet into a warm pool teeming with fish that nibble away at dead skin and bacteria.

Monday, April 17, 2006

wanna race?



SAN FRANCISCO / Eat your heart out, Lance Armstrong
Seventeen tricycles gathered at the top of Russian Hill on Sunday to prove once again why it is not a good idea to ride a tricycle down Russian Hill.

There were more than a couple of skinned knees, an occupational hazard for tricyclists of all ages, including the purported grown-up ones who took part in the sixth annual Lombard Street tricycle race.

The tricyclists arranged their mostly plastic vehicles at the top of the brick curlicue while about 500 tourists, realizing that something even weirder than what their guidebooks had warned them might happen in San Francisco, aimed their cameras.


Shesh!

Friday, April 14, 2006

what would u do?



CEOs say how you treat a waiter can predict a lot about character - Yahoo! News
The purple sorbet in cut glass he was serving tumbled onto the expensive white gown of an obviously rich and important woman. "I watched in slow motion ruining her dress for the evening," Odland says. "I thought I would be shot on sight."

Thirty years have passed, but Odland can't get the stain out of his mind, nor the woman's kind reaction. She was startled, regained composure and, in a reassuring voice, told the teenage Odland, "It's OK. It wasn't your fault." When she left the restaurant, she also left the future Fortune 500 CEO with a life lesson: You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats the waiter.

I give you a 5!



Fast Forward: The world's most modern management is in India - Apr. 14, 2006
NEW YORK (FORTUNE) - I have seen the future of management, and it is Indian. Vineet Nayar, president of India's 30,000-employee HCL Technologies (Research), is creating an IT outsourcing firm where, he says, employees come first and customers second.

"Everybody was aghast the first time I said that," admits Nayar.
More from FORTUNE
The future of the FORTUNE 500
The world's most modern management - in India
Letters: Getting real on immigration
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Here are some things I can say about him with confidence: He is good at motivating employees, very committed to building a great team, but a little shaky on getting things done on time. These are not my observations. They are what his employees told him in an extraordinary process of upward evaluation he implemented last year at HCL.

Every employee rates their boss, their boss' boss, and any three other company managers they choose, on 18 questions using a 1-5 scale. Such 360-degree evaluations are not uncommon, but at HCL all results are posted online for every employee to see. That's un-heard-of!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Example Note 1


Don't eat my Cat!

Fla.'s Newest Problem: Burmese Pythons - Yahoo! News
"Last year, we caught 95 pythons," said Skip Snow, a biologist with Florida Everglades National Park. That's not counting the 13-footer that exploded after trying to eat an alligator, or two others that got loose and ate a Siamese cat and a turkey.


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

$1 dollar a month for push email!



RIM Readies BlackBerry for China - Mobile News - Designtechnica
At the same time, the Globe Mail is reporting that China Unicom Ltd., China's state-controlled (and second-largest) mobile operator has launched a competing service, unabashedly called "RedBerry," a push-email service with a name reportedly intended to blend the brand recognition of RIM's BlackBerry with the red symbol of the state-controlled China Unicom. The RedBerry service uses CDMA-based handsets already marketed by China Unicom, rather than a specialized handheld device; accounts reportedly cost less than $1 a month.


what a great deal! I would pay $1 a month for push email. I currently get my yahoo mail and corporate mail instantly, and it's great! Of course, I still don't reply :(


Tuesday, April 11, 2006

rabbit marriage




fast food workers are being outsourced!



Long-distance journey of a fast-food order | CNET News.com
What made the $12.08 transaction remarkable was that the customer was not just outside Vargas's workplace here on California's central coast. She was at a McDonald's in Honolulu. And within a two-minute span, Vargas had also taken orders from drive-through windows in Gulfport, Miss., and Gillette, Wyo.